Taking arms against a sea of troubles?

A shocking new development in the efforts to contain the localized insurgent activity: a surrender!

The initial attack ("Insurgent activity in the front yard" Feb 3) was so brazen as to require my counterattack employing the tactical application of chemical weapons ("Everything is under controk" Feb 4.) This action appeared to drive the evildoer underground. Well, it was already underground, but you know what I mean. There was no sign of trouble for several days. Then, it's back. Fresh tracks. Game on. While I was preparing plans for a new assault on the entrenched position, a few days of heavy rain developed. At 0700 hours the morning after the storm, the Adjutant Commander of the domicile reported there was suspicious activity in the swimming pool. Upon investigation, it became apparent that one of the fanatics had succumbed. Delayed effects of the earlier gas attack? Suicide due to the stress of my relentless pursuit? Or perhaps too many margaritas and a nasty slip and fall next to the pool? Whatever the cause, our long nightmare has ended - at least for now. Remember, the price of a nice lawn is eternal vigilance.Crikey, looks at the razor-sharp claws on this monster! He'd rip out your windpipe in a heartbeat! Of course, you'd have to hold him up to your neck. And he is only about 5 inches long. But don't turn your back on him!

Comments

DodgerScott said…
Animal Planet's Most Extreme frequently features the mole. It's digging abilities are unsurpassed. And it eats a TON of insects every day. Lucky you didn't get in its way or we would have been reading about you in the morning paper.

P.S. I think William Shatner's wife died the same way.
February 13, 2007 at 10:28 AM
Anonymous said…
More than words, the photo brings home the horror of these creatures.

They have been known to parachute in, you know.
February 13, 2007 at 8:04 PM
Anonymous said…
"I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."
February 15, 2007 at 2:03 PM
Anonymous said…
I think I know that guy!


And....I do believe he's quite prolific with many, many offspring. Stay vigilant!
February 16, 2007 at 4:42 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How I have neglected my blog and the sadness that results

So jeez, I am feeling a little contrite because I have neglected this blog. Feeling a little like I have let an old friend fall by the wayside while I have been spending all my time with someone new.I even got needled by one of my (few) readers today - "Wow, no blog post since April 2!"  Feeling a little frivolous and superficial because my good old reliable Blogger blog here has fallen victim to my other time sucks - namely, Facebook, and of course, what I like to call "real life." Maintaining a blog is no simple task, my friend. Just mouse up there to the top of the screen, left of center, and start clicking on "Next blog." You will soon soon discover there are lots and lots people who start a blog, make two or three posts, and discover it's kind of demanding. (You'll also discover that about two-thirds of all the random blogs you'll see in the "next blog" mode are in Spanish, which I find strangely fascinating. ) Maybe those whose
Read more

Indians owned slaves? Did I sleep through that history lesson?

There's a story in the news about a vote in the Cherokee Nation to change their definition of citizenship, restricting it to descendants "by blood." The story goes on to say that this change will cut off the descendants of blacks whose ancestors were slaves to Cherokee owners. What? Wait a minute, what?? Indians owned slaves? Here you can learn much about what the Indian learned from the European settlers about keeping slaves , and how they adopted the practice. You think you know your history, then something like this pops up. There's a new show coming out on the BBC that will represent the global-warming-is-caused-by-the-sun theory. Titled "The Great Global Warming Swindle," it it set to air March 8. It's directed by a guy named Martin Durkin, and he says "It’s very rare that a film changes history, but I think this is a turning point and in five years the idea that the greenhouse effect is the main reason behind global warming will be seen as
Read more

"Mikey Angels" flies off in both directions at once

Image
The expression we've all heard is "you can't be too rich or too thin." I suppose that gets said a lot around the tennis court at the country club, the changing room at Sak's? I suppose it draws a wry smile every time. Or is it really said in the aisles at Target by people who are at no risk of being too much of either? The expression we've never heard is "you can't be too smart," because we all know it is possible to be too smart. Kind of ironic since we spend a lot of energy trying to force kids to be smart. We pound them with homework, make them take tests, tell them the kids in Mumbai are going to take your future job. We try to get them into the best schools, the ones for the smart people, but they are always at risk of becoming "too smart for their own good." Based on what I've heard about last weekend's Presidential candidate activity, Obama is running the risk of being too smart for his own good. He and McCain did these l
Read more