Thursday, February 22, 2007

There's someone out there for you, no matter how weird you are

When I write the phrase "personal ads" you may be put in mind of smutty solicatations found in the back pages of the so-called alternative weeklies. But read this one.

Melbourne Australia. You: Lady (sic) educated,70+, cultured, intelligent, fond of Mozart et al, country walks, books, intelligent conversation, isolated and marooned by time, lonely and unloved. Me - ALL of the above, 86. Sound in mind and body. Why should WE go through these latter years without being loved and giving love. We might just be lucky. Box no. 04/05
Kind of touching, no? It's from the London Review of Books, of all places. The January issue of Smithsonian magazine had a page of these not-what-you'd-expect personal ads. I found these samples on the LRB web site.

It's taken me all year to summon the courage to place this ad. M 34. Affectionate coward. Box no. 03/02

While these ads may reveal the undeniable erudition of their authors, do they actually get anyone laid? Sciolistic female, fifties, ponders. Box no. 03/03

You, F. 40s, cannot accept a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which does not exist. Me, M. 40s, will be fond of your intolerance.

Man, 42. WLTM woman to 50 to help harness the disappointment I routinely create in all my relationships. Own tap shoes an advantage. Box no. 03/05

And on they go. It's a smorgasbord.


hillbilly deluxe said...

"There's someone out there for you, no matter how weird you are"...

Good thing, too, or you'd never have found your current missus. You really married "up", if you catch my meaning.

Bet you can figure it out! said...

That's it! I'm going to spend all weekend coming up with my own personal ad.

Crazed old hippie looking for.....