Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Never leaving the house again

A confluence of events leads to the conclusion that not only is it not safe, but it is not even necessary, for anyone to ever leave the safe confines of their home.

Event 1: crime spree in Napa. In the last 3 months, there have been two armed robberies, a shooting on Main Street, and a fatal stabbing on the street just two night ago. Granted, the shooting resulted from some boozy disagreement after some kind of rap or hip hop show - and the stabbing victim appears to be a transient. And granted, this is just a typical afternoon's police log in many towns, but seems like mayhem in little ol' Napa. Is it a trend, or just a series of random events? Are there holes in the thin blue line? All this will be revealed over time, but the panic mongers locally are having a free-for-all in the Register's website. Like I always say, panic first, think it through later.

Events 2 through 117: the growth of the web over the last 10 years has put more information at our fingertips that previous generations could have found in library stacks in a lifetime of searching, and the birth of Amazon along with it have made going to the bookstore equally unnecessary; the advent of Netflix removed the unpleasant necessity of going to the video store from our lives; groceries can be delivered, and the wine club will ship your way, too. Now I see in Wired and also in Ben Fong Torres' column in the pink section that there are web based barter services springing up. LaLa.com is one for swapping CDs with people, there's another one for trading paperback books. Oh, and you can work, too, either telecommuting or just selling crap on ebay all day long. Considering that there is no real compelling reason to go outdoors, and considering that the sky is metaphorically falling anyway what with global warming and whatnot, I think the plan of action is just buy a couple more bathrobes and just hang tight. Maybe log onto e-trade and buy some stock in air conditioning companies, and just hunker down till the felons wear themselves out and the streets are safe again.

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