Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Would The Dude abide a 37?

Just when you start to think we might have found an inspirational new American leader in B. Obama, the ugly truth comes out - he can't bowl. If you hadn't heard, BO rolled a putrid 37 while engaging in some obligatory "act like a regular guy" campaign activities in Altoona PA. If he now loses in the PA primary by about 75%, you'll know why. Them regular folks in the Keystone State probably don't have a lot of respect for a grown man who can't do better than 37 in 10 frames.

I mean, really. Your average adult male could probably score better than 37 using a cantaloupe. This is not a catastrophe at the level of "Dukakis Drives a Tank," but if I were running that campaign I'd have a throbbing headache. Do you think anybody bothered to ask the Senator whether he thought he would do well on the lanes before they handed him the saddle shoes? Got to plan ahead, people. (I'll bet dollars to donuts that you'll see Barack doing something athletic that he's good at before a week passes by. Got to recapture some confidence from those of the masculine persuasion.)

Then again, the record is cloudy on whether our past Presidents had the qualities of the real American male. What do we really know about, say, Washington - he could lead an army, but could he make chili? Or Jefferson - he liked wine, for Pete's sake, and real men like beer. Would Franklin Pierce (he was a President, right?) have held his own in a game of 5 card draw? Would Nixon have been able to quote lines from Caddyshack? Would Carter have known the right time to say "He who smelt it, dealt it?"

Obama's failure this week, however, is offset by Hillary's latest gaffe and the fact that she is, relentlessly, Hillary. The gaffe was comparing herself to Rocky Balboa. While there are probably lots of Philadelphians who admire that Rocky spirit concept, there are probably a lot of others who remember that the original Rocky was basically a loser who got one shot at greatness and whose only goal was to go the distance and not embarass himself. Nice role model, Hil.

So if you had to vote for one of the Dems this week, you've got Mr. Gutter Ball and the Ms. Punch Drunk Bum to choose from.

Whatever happened to that loony Ron Paul guy?...


DodgerScott said...

You know darn well that Nixon could quote Caddyshack. And what does that tell us? Heck, he's even mentioned in the movie. Remember Lacey and Ty outside:

Lacey: What do you do for excitement?

Ty: Oh, a lot of golf.

Lacey: Golf? Nixon plays golf. I bet you have a lot of interesting stories about your ball landing in the rough.

Ty: So what do you do?
Lacey: I enjoy...skinny-skiing...going to bullfights on acid. I'll bet you've got a lot of nice ties.

Ty: How do you mean?

Lacey: Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?

Ty: I've got a good idea. Let's pretend...we're really human beings.

Barry Martin said...

"...pretend we're really human beings." - Nixon did a lot of that, too...