Wednesday, August 1, 2007

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions

If you read the Parade magazine in the Sunday paper, or watch Letterman, you might be familiar with Marilyn Vos Savant. She's that super brainy woman who reportedly has the highest IQ measured. Naturally, what you want to do if you have a really high IQ is answer questions in a newspaper column. So she does. Along the way, she gets some real doozies, questions that only make sense to the not-so-super-brainy individuals who posed them. Here are some samples:

Didn’t Louis XIII have any furniture? Everybody’s heard about his son’s furniture, but what about him?
from a reader in Philadelphia, Pa.

Suppose we could get all living beings on Earth to face one direction and then begin running. Would this influence the speed of the Earth’s rotation?
—Waterloo, N.Y.

I notice you have the same first name as Marilyn Monroe. Are you two related?
—Portland, Ore.

Do you think daylight-saving time could be contributing to global warming? The longer we have sunlight, the more it heats the atmosphere.
—San Antonio, Tex.

After I began experiencing menopausal hot flashes, I wondered: Could we harness all this free heat generated by millions of women for a practical use?
—Stuart, Fla.

Why do birds sometimes pick a single vehicle to make a mess on? Do they have a warped sense of humor, or are they not capable of this kind of thought?
—Williamsburg, Va.

Instead of moving our clocks one hour forward every spring, then one hour backward every fall, why couldn’t we just move them one-half hour forward this spring and be done with it?
—Roanoke, Va.

I just observed a flock of geese flying in a “V” formation. Is that the only letter they know?
—Holbrook, N.Y.

If you go to the website where these are posted you can read the comments left by other folks. Some of them don't seem to get why these questions seem so funny. That's kind of scary. And other people want to argue about daylight saving time. Life it too short to argue abouy daylight saving time, ok people?

There was one comment that added another amazingly dumb question:

I live in the Quad Cities...We have a lot of bald eagles here because of the Mississippi River and there's an annual event called "Bald Eagle Days". One visitor asked, "How do the bald eagles know which weekend to come here?"
If you talk to people in the tourism business here in Napa, you can round up some pretty lame questions. My all time favorite from a tasting room is "Do you have any grape flavored wine?"

So remember, there are no stupid questions, but you might want to think it through before you open your mouth anyway.

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