Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Serious thoughts on an important topic

Harrison Ford is making me depressed.

There is no bigger fan of "Han Solo" and "Indiana Jones" than me. Well, in the sense that I really like all those movies, not in the sense that I dress up like Star Wars characters and go out in public. OK, there was that one time in the Princess Leia outfit. But I digress.

Harrison Ford is making me depressed for at least three reasons.
1. He's not aging well. Still lean, and can probably run from jungle pygmies and do battle with stormtroopers and all that, but that face! Yikes! He just looks sad and tired. Maybe he looks sad because
2. He keeps making the same movie over and over. We're flipping channels last night and there's this movie called Firewall. He's a bank security expert and his family is held hostage by some bank robbers who force him to help them rob a bank. I did not need to watch it all to know he would act all scared for awhile, then come up with some clever ploys, and in the end there'd be a good punch up and the bad guys would be defeated. We know this because he has played this unfairly threatened or accused guy in Frantic, Presumed Innocent, The Fugitive, and Air Force One, and maybe others.
3. He's making another Indiana Jones movie. This prospect is somewhat less pathetic than the most recent Rocky installment, but still disturbing. Why must people tarnish their legacy by hanging on too long? Is it ego or the money? Fear of losing one's identity? "If I am no longer the unfairly threatened or accused guy, or the literate but rough and tumble self centered guy with the heart of gold, who am I?"

There's no mercy for Mr. Ford. Over on IMDB, there's a thread offering titles for the new Indy Jones movie:
"Indiana Jones and the Prostate of Doom"
"Indiana Jones and the Ravages of Time"
and my personal favorite
"Indiana Jones and the Giant Sack of Hundred Dollar Bills"

Bottom line - I'll probably look forward to seeing the Indiana Jones movie next spring, and it will probably be great, but Harrison Ford my friend, you need to start playing some grandpas and act your age. There's a big difference between thinking young and acting young, and pretending to be young. After awhile it's just depressing.


Scott said...

Wow. I was just thinking about Harrison Ford. The guy on the radio this morning said it was his 65th birthday today. 65! Wow, he is old. But then again, he's still with post-Ally McBeal Flockhart.

cat head said...

it must have taken you hours to twist your hair in and out of those side buns.