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Showing posts from January, 2009

I'll stimulate you if you stimulate me

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So Barry Obama (I like to call him "The Big O" now) is talking up his economic stimulus plan. Looks like we're going to get stimulated to the tune of $820 billion. Or is that $820 trillion? $820 octillion? Is that dollars or pesos? Well, who's counting? Wait - maybe that's how we got into this mess... Anyway, this whole stimulus thing is way too complicated for a simple guy like me, but the way I understand it there are several methods my government can use to stimulate me: 1. Give me some of somebody else's money. Democrats favor this approach generally, and most everybody likes to get some of somebody else's money. Except the "somebody else" who has their money taken. 2. Give me back some of my own money. Republicans favor this approach generally, and I like this but I would just as soon have some of somebody else's money. Either way works, just as long as I get some more money. 3. Print some more money and set it out on the streets in

How to keep track of your mind so you don't lose it

Here's a useful (?) tip for a way to get your bearings when you have that thought "What the hell am I doing with my life?" or "Where does all the time go?" Take a look at your Google search history. (If you use some other kind of search engine - well, that's so 20th century I don't even know what to say. Maybe you should skip reading this and go see if "Fibber McGee and Molly" is on the radio.) Google keeps track of the words you type into the search box. Mine seems to go back about six months. So a quick review tells me right away what I've been thinking about, working on, and wasting time with. For example, a selection of my recent searches: Ryan Adams (obsessed with his music) Samuel French (obsessed with reading plays) Pubic hair fashion (would you believe it if I said I was writing my doctoral dissertation. No? I didn't think so.) Chrome (that's the new Google web browser for your cave dwellers) Meaning of love (if Google d

"Taunt a mime in Twenty-oh-Nine!"

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Today marks the start of Year Three of this here blog. Over the last 24 months there have been 223 items posted. A number of them fit the category of "not that bad," while others are not worth the paper they were never written on. Overall, the global response to this blog continues to be: Whoop-dee-frickin'-doo. Now that we have concluded the annual report, let's move on to today's topic - the New Years Resolutions. It's important to give pause at the start of each New Year, take stock of oneself, and consider how to move forward to make oneself just a bit better. For example, to avoid using the word "oneself" again for the rest of '09. I'll make that reso #1. After all, if you make no resolutions at all you are saying "I cannot improve on me. I have reached perfection." Or you are saying "I cannot improve on me. I am the very definition of lame yet I am also hopeless." For those who fall somewhere between these extremes,