Friday, October 3, 2008

And the winner is...

I watched that debate last night and I have made up my mind - I'm voting for Tina Fey for sure.

Reason number one: she is just amazing! Imagine trying to be a TV star on two shows at once AND run for President. That takes a lot of gumption, get-up-and-go, and good old American values. Apparently she lives in Alaska, too, which means a lot of really long flights to New York for the TV shows, so that means she has energy. A good thing, because her running mate, the old guy, looks pretty tired.

Reason number two: Drill, baby, drill! Tina understands the simple fact that we need more oil. We have not used it all up yet, and until we do, we need to go get it and burn it. She talked about (paraphrasing here) "America's rapacious, unquenchable, unassuageable lust for the black gold, the Texas Tea" and I cannot agree more. Sometimes when I am filling up my tank I take just a small hit off the hose and it is mother's milk to me because I am the average American.

Reason number three: The other one is some kind of smart guy. He kept using big words to try and impress us and confuse my Tina, but she would not be knocked off balance and just kept giving him that blank stare, like she didn't understand. Dumb like a fox, that's what she is. She showed she's the smarter one because she knows how to pronounce "nuc-u-lar" correctly, the way Bush says it, not pronounce it the wrong way like the smart guy.

Reason number seven: It's time for change! I am sick and tired of the way things are and I am sick and tired of everybody who made things the way things are, and I know Tina Fey will turn back the clock and it will be like the 1950s again when the world was just about perfect.

Reason number ten: Those sexy glasses, can't get enough.

I'm just glad they had that debate so I could go ahead and make up my mind to vote for Tina Fey and the old guy. I had already spent something like an hour thinking about the whole thing already, and that's more than enough.

God Bless America!

1 comment:

DodgerScott said...

Don't bogart that hose, my friend, pass it over to me...