Sunday, February 22, 2009

"Foul language" makes me laugh


Note: The "dirty" words used in this post are only suitable for an "adult" audience. This, of course, is really silly, because anyone who was actually an adult wouldn't get nearly as many laughs out of the subject matter, so I don't know who this post is suitable for. Maybe you? Maybe no one.

Most of my most crisp foul language just comes blurting out without any thought at all. In fact, if I ever stopped to think I probably would choose other, non-"dirty" words. But there is that moment where someone is just driving so stupidly, meandering all over their lane, or going 55 when every else is going 80 (ok, maybe it's just me that's going 80) and suddenly the word "dickwad" just comes flying out of my mouth.

That happened the other day, and I got to thinking about the word "dickwad." An odd concoction, when you consider it. What exactly is a wad of dick? Likewise, "fuckwad." Hmmm.

Urban Dictionary provides 3 definitions for "dickwad."
  • An idiot. More powerfully insulting than its predecessor 'dickhead'
  • A worthless piece of shit. Also known as a wad-of-dick.
  • Commonplace reference to George W. Bush
Ha! Pretty funny for a dictionary!

Both "dickwad" and "fuckwad" have a certain quality of humor that is hard for me to pin down. And like a lot of other insulting terms I enjoy, they have no clear basis from which to become insults. Not sure why, but both strike me as funny, as do some very specific other naughty terms, to wit:
  • douchebag: an actual functional item which a human person does not want to be.
  • dipshit: who the hells knows where this originated?
  • asswipe: compares the inflictee to toilet paper?
  • tool: clearly defines one who is clueless, perhaps having the mental activity level of a screwdriver?
I would like to add some new, crisp, funny bad words to my vocabulary so if you know some, please shout them at me when you are driving.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Money can't buy me love


Somehow, somewhere in my ramblings on this blog, or maybe on some Facebook note, I gave someone the wrong impression.

I hate it when I mis-communicate. I mean, that's what I do - I communicate for a living. So when I get it wrong, I feel bad. Or badly. A person who communicates for a living should know the grammar. Oh well.

The problem, I am told by a friend, is that I wrote something about money. I think I may have said that I "needed more money." Unfortunately, someone has interpreted that as meaning that I don't think my job pays me enough money. Truth is, my job with the City of Napa is a very good job and I am lucky to have it. Truth is, my living situation has changed recently because I am now a separated person and because of choices I have made it now costs more money to continue living and cover all my obligations. Truth is, I need to find a way to make a little more money to cover all those obligations. That's all.

So I am hoping to find some kind of weekend job or something where I can make a little more money, so I can continue to live my life and pay all the bills and everyone can be happy. Or maybe a sack of cash will fall out of a Brinks truck and try as I might they won't take it back. Or maybe I will learn how to cook meth. That's all. I don't know.

I hate poor communications, and I hate misunderstandings, so I hope this clears up my situation. For more information, call 1-800-Barry'spersonallife and press 2#.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

When plenty is never enough


I've been thinking a lot lately about the need for approval - why some people seem to have zero need and others have an unquenchable thirst for it. I admit I am closer the the latter description than the former.

It's easy for a person to say that they don't care what other people think, and I've known a few who really walk that talk. People who wear outrageous clothes they find in dumpsters, and take part in role-playing games in the park, on one extreme - or who are complete sociopaths who have no conscience whatsover. But I think most people who say they don't care what other people think really do care - maybe more than the average person. That act of being defiantly bold and unique and living by some unspoken personal creed is in itself a seeking of approval for being defiantly bold and unique.

For those of us who are somewhere in the "mainstream" (whatever that means anymore) there's no denying that we are seeking approval constantly. To get the approval of your friends by wearing the current fashion, listening to the current music, seeing the hot new movie - to get the approval of your family by graduating, ascending, achieving, marrying, reproducing - to get the approval of your circle by espousing the political maxim of the week and jumping on popular bandwagons , to get the better grade, the sleeker car, the tres chic shoes, the latest set of irons, the promotion - all, to some degree, attempts at validation by someone other than yourself.

For me the approval I seek is almost always about making people laugh. If you've ever seen a two or three year old child do something that makes a group of people laugh, and see the child's reaction - typically to try and make them laugh again and again - then you can agree that the desire to entertain is innate in at least some of us. There must have been some time when I was a child when I got a good laugh, and that became my drug of choice. Fairly obvious I guess, for someone who fell in love with theater and made a living on the radio.

But the need for approval runs much deeper and becomes its own problem. Some part of me still seeks to know that my long gone father approved of me - a man who did not know how to give his only son a hug or say "I love you." Is that a gap that can ever be filled? Some part of me seeks constant approval that I am not too fat, that I am at least an above average golfer, that I am an insatiable tiger in bed, that my thoughts are deep enough and my circle of friends is wide enough.

It's not as if I don't get enough pats on the back. In fact, I often feel I get more than I deserve. But plenty is never enough. If I cannot achieve approval on my own terms - to approve of myself - can there be relief from this need?